"It is an absolute human certainty that no one can know his own beauty or perceive a sense of his own worth until it has been reflected back to him in the mirror of another loving, caring human being." — John Joseph Powell, The Secret of Staying in Love
"Ahava" (Hebrew) word for: — Love
I hope you all had a great week! Mine was simply wonderful. I've learned so much about this topic. I hope you can to. And to put this topic in a simple phrase which your all familiar with— the birds and bee's. Lets talk about how we can see different perspectives through this beautiful, wonderful, and sometimes daunting moment we get to share with someone we love.
It isn't surprising that we get to a certain age where hormone's from both male and female are harmonizing and even singing duets together. Physical touch and connection. While this topic can go in many directions, I'd want to focus on the importance of sexual intimacy, some misconceptions, and ways sexual intimacy can help build stronger relationships with the right steps. If you were asked to describe an abstract piece of art you found at a museum, there could be many descriptions, poems, sonnets, etc. That to say, is the way we can describe the power of sexual intimacy with a person.
Physical and sensual arousal has many effects on the brain. We often refer to this as "Dopamine." A chemical in the brain that is released. Its also called (the "wow/ excitement") hormone. These chemical releases often receive stress and help relax the body which give pleasure. The other chemical released in the brain from this activity is called Serotonin, (a neurotransmitter of peace, happiness, tranquility.)
In the beginning the discussion in class "what are the different views that a male or female have about sex?" A woman's point of view of sexual Intimacy could mean more of a emotional and personal attachment. A man's point of view of sexual intimacy could mean more of a physical and emotional connection. A couple of blogs ago, I discussed how men have both steel and velvet to him, and woman have the velvet and the need to feel the steel of a man (i.e. the protective and providing side to him.) How does this impact relationships?
When I was younger and my mother would make early morning breakfast, most of the time it was pancakes or waffles, as my sister and I would feel good as the house filled up with good cooking. A simple yet effective lesson my mother taught me was to not smother the waffles with too much syrup. Its very sweet and will do the job if you use only a right portion. If a married couple are to engage themselves in sexual intimacy too much—they may often find that the activity could eventually be less sweet and lose the magic over time due to excessive chemical releases.
While taking counseling for marriage, my counselor mentioned how sex has a lot of benefits in marriage and can help sustain the relationship, however, it isn't the most important aspect of engagement. She showed me a pie chart that (50% was communication/ interaction and how they get along together, 25% was work and maintaining a job, 10% was sex, and 5% could be going out and spending quality time together.) This pie chart was just her point of view. In no way does this describe everybody's circumstance. It did give me a broader view of what is most important. I was honestly surprised to hear this, because usually sex is a very big activity to engage in when you are married.
This leads into how sexual intimacy can help build a strong foundation for a relationship when two people have established a strong bond. In the course "Eternal Families," we studied the fundamentals of sexual attraction. Our professor described sexual intimacy not only as a way to create pleasure, connect, and be done with it, rather, it was a way to become one with that person. Usually when the busy life gets in the way, sex (one of the essential way's we connect with that person,) can help save a relationship as it helps bring back that feeling of loving that person fully.
The more I learn about the fundamentals of sexual intimacy the more I ponder how sacred it is to me. I took the time to read what the scriptures view of sexual pleasure and how we can learn from it.
Genesis 1: 28 KJV
"And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth."
(I feel that Genesis describes the function and role that Adam and Eve set for us today. It is a gift that we can bring people into the world and create other versions of themselves with the love they have for one another. It was also a commandment from God that the earth wouldn't go to waste without us in it.)
Proverbs 5: 19 KJV
"Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love."
(I always find this verse interesting and also beautiful. This verse encourages us to be satisfied with each other and be "ravished" with each other under the rule of God's will.)
In the discussion we had I brought up the power of letting God be the guide of sexual intimacy. I have always wondered how we can include God by— praying before making love. Some found it a little odd or off putting. I understand how people might think it is. As it isn't something people do all the time before doing it. However, I feel that God could direct it so that you can become closer together and built on a stronger foundation.
Making love in a marriage is like opening a fragile and gentle gift. Not rushing and being close actually creates such a beautiful and long-lasting connection and love with that person. The harmony that both souls can create together is a sound that is meant for two. This helps remind how and why it was created.
And a reminder for you today: Value the bond you create with someone. Value the bond you can create with yourself and Heavenly Father.
Ahava to you!
-DiNunno
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